missing someone right now...

i think luck just doesn't like me anymore. these few days aren't my happiest days. i just feel depressed and damn shitty now. and i usually hurt myself when i feel depressed but i promised someone that i won't hurt myself just because i'm depressed. and i always come across a point of time that i forget what i'm supposed to blog about...

you know when you feel like you don't have a purpose in life anymore and you just want to vanish... or disappear like how a bubble does or something... or just let yourself rot on one corner until you disappear. slowly...

anyway good luck to those who are getting their results tomorrow... may we all pass with flying colors. (:

...but that's not what's in my mind now. it's something else. and i think it's gonna haunt me for the rest of the days of this week. agh this is what i don't like to happen - especially the first day of the week - that the first day will feel shitty and depressed and you can predict that the rest of the days will become more shitty day by day...

i feel like locking myself in my room and just not think about anything. i just want to lie down my bed and clear my thoughts. my thoughts are just as messed up as shit. maybe i'm thinking too much. maybe it's better to forget what happened on that day and get on with my freaking useless life.

the only ones who's keeping me alive is my family and friends, and especially my dear...

anyway we move on to the good stuff. went to Cheska's house for a gathering and (lol) ate Erika's like chasing people to......... ah nvm. top secret. lol. and we all went up to their house. my girls and i watched two movies in Cheskie's room but the others were chatting in the other room. went home at 2am the next day. Anthony and i went to church in the morning (i was late) and saw Mei and family outside church (Deane wasn't with them. good luck for the tournament anyway). ate lunch with them and met up with Marie... after eating Marie and Mei went to Starbucks and then Jag and i bought and collected stuff from different places. then went home.

at home my dad and i talked for a bit (a bit?) and then shifted the desktop from my room to the living room. i'm getting a new table for my laptop. there are advantages in having my desktop moved to the living room. coz firstly, my brothers won't crowd in my room anymore coz they always use the com to watch some anime show (for the whole day) and they'll usually end up late like 12in the morning the next day. and i couldn't even sleep because of that.

and upon feeling depressed i really appreciate that even my brothers are always irritating and childish, they can still make me happy...

Brother: *prints something in my laptop that he didn't intend printing* eh i printed wrong thing.
Me: *looks at the three sheets of paper that was wasted (coz he only used one side of the paper)* try to recycle the papers.
Brother: okay. *takes one paper from the wasted ones and tried to fold it into a paper airplane*

lol... i really appreciate that they could still make me laugh eventhough i find them irritating.

anyway i'm stopping here. bye.


It's a random thing, babe. So talk shit.